Taking a Stand

Last Saturday I was at my daughter's school at 11:30am guided by the circular that wanted the parents to be there to order school photographs. When I went there it was chaos at its best, fish market!!!

Being urban we have kinda lost the rushing in crowds thing but yes we have braced through it in childhood and when the need arises, I can be at my best :) So I was there fighting my way to the beginning of the crowd, near the table, about to order my photographs and a teacher from the school checks with the photographer guy as to why there is so much commotion and he should stop activities and organize things.

As he was trying to figure how to deal with the mess he created. There was a lady from the parents group, who was outraged, raised her hands calling out loudly to all parents to talk to the Principal and to deal with the situation. She went to the reception and created the required noise. Many parents joined in, including me.

Our demands were:

• Why is it not organised? The Prinicipal says we dont get involved. We felt they should and not let the photographer create the mess
• Why should we order class photographs, they can be sent through the student? The Prinicipal agreed to do so
• For the annual day photographs we suggested put in on a site, we pick up the number and send it on email for order. The Principal was not sure how to take this ahead but they finally decided to have it done class wise rather than Nursery to Twelfth classes parents called at one time.

As all this was being discussed and agreed upon. Some parents went to the photographer's assistant and were busy giving orders till it was stopped by us complaining to the admin guy (who was told by the Principal to correct the situation).

I was really disappointed at the selfishness of these parents who were all fine with the chaotic situation so that they can just get done with it and also taking advantage that most of the parents were there discussing with the Principal, what a selfish attitude.

I am in all praise of the lady who stood as a leader to drive the parents to form a group and take on this issue.

Remember "Take a Stand" if not "Take a stand to support" :)

Its now!

I had been so hurt, that I don't want to let go of the feeling. How could I? I am so a part of my misery that I wouldn't want it to be all by itself and not be identified as "My Pain".

The past thats gone, yeah very recent, but it doesn't exist. I decide I need to drop it. I call and say "I love you". Lets meet and have a good time.

The smile lingers!! The dreams are there...

Anxious about the future! Oh you are going away...? and I will miss the sublime sweetness life has gifted me. I may lose you forever. Holding you tight and close, its the fear of a painful tomorrow. God, close to my ears, whispers: "Aren't you missing the now? and remember I have a beautiful future for you"

The now! Vast, forever, deep, loving and bright....very bright..the now is real. I don't need to live in the past or the future.....

Be quick to express

Today I called hubby and told him "Iam sorry" for the altercations I had with him on silly issues. Well marital life is about that :) I felt so good to express it so :)

And I sent a mail to an old friend who had been kind to me years back when I was in need of help. Its been 4 years but I thought its never to late to express gratitude.

So be quick to express, say "I am sorry" and "Thank you" as soon as you can :)

Breaking Away

Its hard on me to let go
tho its hard to stay here
for this world is yours
the rules please you so

I want to fly so high
away from the shackles
thats set to tame my spirit
but the bird will soar

I am breaking away
my heart needs love
you can keep the world
and the chains you adore

You know its not love

Why search for love?
If you know it not
Who is there to find?
you'll lose all you got

swirl & twirl to music
unknown & soft words
kiss & dance the night
are you drunk on life?

so warm is the body
for the soul sees death
give me more time
to leave my heart here

You know its not love
my pain survives you
the beauty of sacrifice
paves a path for me & you

मोहब्बत का पैगाम

हम फ़र्ज़ अदा करते हैं दिल तोड़ने का , 
वो सोचते है कि हम उन्हें भूल गए , 
मगर वोह हमारे हर सांस में है , 
खुदा जाने यें कैसी मोहब्बत है 

Empty Soul

hand in hand v go
and my heart smiles
the wind hits us so
and it takes u away
i look at you go

crying each day
empty is the soul
the body so heavy
drag it with pain
life got no goal

black & dark skies
its about to rain
in a flash I learn
I blamed d wind when
it was but the stars

Excited about 2010

Every year is leading to another and each as important. First half of 2009 went in recovering from a surgery in Dec 2008 and when I was back in action around June 2009, the ball was rolling boy !!!

There were challenges in business in terms of partners but I know I learnt a lot and dealt with the issues good. I then met up with new partners a few weeks back and I must say business has just grown after that.

As usual I enjoyed trips to Gurgaon to catch up with Srid. The trips to Ooty- Cunnoor later followed by Chikamgalur will always be part of my sweet memories.

Well right now I look forward to our vacations in Mumbai and then the parties we plan with Sis and cousins when I am back.......

The activities I missed doing:

• Landmark
• Isha 
• Social Service
• Regular Yoga and Meditation

Now I am going to miss today's evening Yoga but going to visit an Uncle at hospital.....

And tomorrow back to work ...:)

And he spoke to me....

I have these conversations with God, sometimes when I am in deep meditative states. And I dunno if its God or my protecting spirit/angel but I call him "My God" :)

And a day back when God spoke to me in his soft but firm voice, I would never be able explain the way I perceive it. Its full of humility but yet someone who knows all...

As he was saying nice things to me, that brought me so much cheer (he loves to cheer me up :)) and as I was smiling, I told him "God, I am sorry, I wronged"

He responded slow, deliberately but lovingly "Dear I know no wrong"

And the conversation ended. I began to contemplate on it, and I thought that its we humans who decide the wrong or the right, we give it definitions to suffer ourselves into pain.

So when we point a finger at someone and say "Hey you are wrong or you wronged me" ain't it just definitions, our interpretations, stories (as in landmark education terminology)

There is so much love for ourselves and the world if we are not slotting our actions and everyone else's as right or wrong...

I need to now get back to my project work...had to type this down, to pass this message from my God :)

Just here

All what we want is just here right within our reach but we are so busy searching it all around. We never find what we seek not because we don't see it. Did you ever wonder?  Finding it is not what we are here for but its the searching we got to do.

Ask, Seek & Knock

In my school days I always waited for this hymn:

---------------------------------
Ask and keep on Asking
and it shall be given to you

Seek and keep on Seeking
and you shall find

Knock and keep on Knocking
and the door shall be open unto you

For everyone who asks - gets
the one who seeks shall find
the one who knocks the door shall be opened
so ask, seek, knock
------------------------------------------

Time hasn't allowed me to forget this beautiful hymn :)

Good and Evil - Kahlil Gibran

And one of the elders of the city said, "Speak to us of Good and Evil."

And he answered:

Of the good in you I can speak, but not of the evil.

For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?

Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters.

You are good when you are one with yourself.

Yet when you are not one with yourself you are not evil.

For a divided house is not a den of thieves; it is only a divided house.

And a ship without rudder may wander aimlessly among perilous isles yet sink not to the bottom.

You are good when you strive to give of yourself.

Yet you are not evil when you seek gain for yourself.

For when you strive for gain you are but a root that clings to the earth and sucks at her breast.

Surely the fruit cannot say to the root, "Be like me, ripe and full and ever giving of your abundance."

For to the fruit giving is a need, as receiving is a need to the root.

You are good when you are fully awake in your speech,

Yet you are not evil when you sleep while your tongue staggers without purpose.

And even stumbling speech may strengthen a weak tongue.

You are good when you walk to your goal firmly and with bold steps.

Yet you are not evil when you go thither limping.

Even those who limp go not backward.

But you who are strong and swift, see that you do not limp before the lame, deeming it kindness.

You are good in countless ways, and you are not evil when you are not good,

You are only loitering and sluggard.

Pity that the stags cannot teach swiftness to the turtles.

In your longing for your giant self lies your goodness: and that longing is in all of you.

But in some of you that longing is a torrent rushing with might to the sea, carrying the secrets of the hillsides and the songs of the forest.

And in others it is a flat stream that loses itself in angles and bends and lingers before it reaches the shore.

But let not him who longs much say to him who longs little, "Wherefore are you slow and halting?"

For the truly good ask not the naked, "Where is your garment?" nor the houseless, "What has befallen your house?"

Khalil Gibran 

The Only Bondage

You did escape the trap
of elemental hive

But its your own doing
that is the ultimate trap

Till you go beyond your own crap
there is no way to break this trap

-Sadhguru

Weather! whether?

“Whether the weather be fine, Whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, Whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather, Whatever the whether, Whether we like it or not”

Crumbled Dry Leaves

she holds her book
Sits under the tree
she feels the beauty
the world is amazing
no reason for a tear


she reads the words
her eyes now close
there is darkness
she is in the past
it was so beautiful

shaken back to now
all is peace & love
takes a deep breath
and life feels vast
for it rapidly moves

joy cost her nothing
pain has no meaning
we create our lives
crumbled dry leaves
she blows them away

The Game of Life & Losing

Its pain and fear forever to a human as the entire moments are lived. The perpetual anxiety of losing what we have: material assets, people we love, positions we hold, power wielded. No no no, don't take it away.....

"Awareness is the key" : is what any of the spiritual guru would say. Is there any loss when there was nothing that is mine : not any at all. We don't exist forever, nothing else does, its all a game. A game of life.

What we see is provided to us to play the game. We dont own them though we perceive it so. When we attach our identity to these objects, losing them is misery and suffering. We are in constant search of newer objects to attach to.

Take this analogy, while you play a video game or a sport we get tools and objects to play the game it doesn't belong to us. We enjoy playing the game and losing means playing again. Same goes with life, this life time if we don't get the game we play it again till we realise the game of life and then the game ends.

So right now: "Life is beautiful and play the game" :)

[Though these are my words, I wrote it in my diary when it came in as a surge of thoughts from an unknown source. I am just the medium not the source of this]

Light my life

Is it true that you are with me

it'll take a lifetime to sink in

Can you explain, who are you

and why are you here so close

I can feel it and see it too

its so warm and cozy with you

living and dying everyday

a dream so lovely & beautiful

Dont I see it, you are here

carrying a flame in the heart

to burn and light my life

vanquishing all pain & sorrow

no anxiety about the future

its this very moment I live

there is no parting of ways

the flame burns for ever

WT'X' is love?

Murali (a friend best avoided but hard to ignore) says I am totally outta my mind and jobless..oh yeah, my reasoning: one needs to keep busy and the blog active...so here I am with the insights from my survey on a small sampling of people on 'What the "whatever" is Love'

This survey doesn't give any reports or end results, it should actually not be called one. Its just a collation of well thought ideas:

Amrita: well how to define love...when it's the most simple & pure at one side...on the other its not easy to define love...cause you can only feel it...words are not enough to express that feeling...only the heart loves the heart knows what actually it is.

You are in love when you would rather not live life without the other person, when he or she is the first that springs to mind in happiness or grief; when the other person is a constant companion even in absentia and when sometimes your loved one's happiness takes precedence over yours.

Jassi: I dont

Jassi (after few hours): a friend of mine once said that, love is the purest form of emotional happiness

Arul: it is everything for holding on to letting go to giving space and taking space for one's self

Anonymous : which was there for ever ...is there around & will remain for ever

Tim: there is only one relationship

and that relationship is only with u and only u

and if u can have a great relationship with u

then u get many lovers, be loved, be appreciated etc etc

Me: Love is the essence of life

Suresh Nair: True love is a feeling that there is NO difference between you and the person who you are loving. Like one soul and one body. But everybody in this world is unique. That is why it is difficult to find love in earth. But don't give up. Keep on looking everwhere. You may find that one day.

Manish Chakravarty: Love is the comfort of being with someone.

T Chendil Kumar: love is a feeling that activates all the senses, except the common sense !

Srini Jaltaru: love is little more than liking each other....no matter what is the custom/religion/country, romantic love plays an important role, while cultural differences in how that love appears vary....the fact is that "romantic love exists" is undoubtful.

Getting the good routine back

Post surgery, from the past 8 months I have just not exercised, ignored my food habits, stopped yoga & meditation and instead I have taken on to all that could worsen my healh both physically and mentally.

I am really missing not playing the regular badminton with the girls, the daily morning and evening yoga and of course meditation. I need gumption to get back to my routine. Right now I have disciplined myself to be more organized to achieve this.

So today I was able to spend time with Nidhi on her studies, the one hour teaching I was following earlier. I am raring to feel the energy in doing whats good for me and the control over my time.

In another hour will be my evening Yoga, yippee...I am almost there :)

Wish me good luck fellas!

The Truth sets you Free

Havent we heard of this so many times: "The Truth will set you free" and it has always been my only guiding path. I was so upbeat and gratified all these days. Without a reason and with no explanation I received immeasurable joy....though somewhere I lost my prudence.

We love lying to ourselves ignoring those signals so clear and loud and continue to believe life the way we want it to be.

The Truth however shocking and cruel, uplifts us and clears all the baggage we carry to unburden the soul.

Filling me with so much of peace & a calmness after the storm :). A reason to clear the canvas and put in new colors!