Excited about 2010

Every year is leading to another and each as important. First half of 2009 went in recovering from a surgery in Dec 2008 and when I was back in action around June 2009, the ball was rolling boy !!!

There were challenges in business in terms of partners but I know I learnt a lot and dealt with the issues good. I then met up with new partners a few weeks back and I must say business has just grown after that.

As usual I enjoyed trips to Gurgaon to catch up with Srid. The trips to Ooty- Cunnoor later followed by Chikamgalur will always be part of my sweet memories.

Well right now I look forward to our vacations in Mumbai and then the parties we plan with Sis and cousins when I am back.......

The activities I missed doing:

• Landmark
• Isha 
• Social Service
• Regular Yoga and Meditation

Now I am going to miss today's evening Yoga but going to visit an Uncle at hospital.....

And tomorrow back to work ...:)

And he spoke to me....

I have these conversations with God, sometimes when I am in deep meditative states. And I dunno if its God or my protecting spirit/angel but I call him "My God" :)

And a day back when God spoke to me in his soft but firm voice, I would never be able explain the way I perceive it. Its full of humility but yet someone who knows all...

As he was saying nice things to me, that brought me so much cheer (he loves to cheer me up :)) and as I was smiling, I told him "God, I am sorry, I wronged"

He responded slow, deliberately but lovingly "Dear I know no wrong"

And the conversation ended. I began to contemplate on it, and I thought that its we humans who decide the wrong or the right, we give it definitions to suffer ourselves into pain.

So when we point a finger at someone and say "Hey you are wrong or you wronged me" ain't it just definitions, our interpretations, stories (as in landmark education terminology)

There is so much love for ourselves and the world if we are not slotting our actions and everyone else's as right or wrong...

I need to now get back to my project work...had to type this down, to pass this message from my God :)

Just here

All what we want is just here right within our reach but we are so busy searching it all around. We never find what we seek not because we don't see it. Did you ever wonder?  Finding it is not what we are here for but its the searching we got to do.

Ask, Seek & Knock

In my school days I always waited for this hymn:

---------------------------------
Ask and keep on Asking
and it shall be given to you

Seek and keep on Seeking
and you shall find

Knock and keep on Knocking
and the door shall be open unto you

For everyone who asks - gets
the one who seeks shall find
the one who knocks the door shall be opened
so ask, seek, knock
------------------------------------------

Time hasn't allowed me to forget this beautiful hymn :)

Good and Evil - Kahlil Gibran

And one of the elders of the city said, "Speak to us of Good and Evil."

And he answered:

Of the good in you I can speak, but not of the evil.

For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?

Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters.

You are good when you are one with yourself.

Yet when you are not one with yourself you are not evil.

For a divided house is not a den of thieves; it is only a divided house.

And a ship without rudder may wander aimlessly among perilous isles yet sink not to the bottom.

You are good when you strive to give of yourself.

Yet you are not evil when you seek gain for yourself.

For when you strive for gain you are but a root that clings to the earth and sucks at her breast.

Surely the fruit cannot say to the root, "Be like me, ripe and full and ever giving of your abundance."

For to the fruit giving is a need, as receiving is a need to the root.

You are good when you are fully awake in your speech,

Yet you are not evil when you sleep while your tongue staggers without purpose.

And even stumbling speech may strengthen a weak tongue.

You are good when you walk to your goal firmly and with bold steps.

Yet you are not evil when you go thither limping.

Even those who limp go not backward.

But you who are strong and swift, see that you do not limp before the lame, deeming it kindness.

You are good in countless ways, and you are not evil when you are not good,

You are only loitering and sluggard.

Pity that the stags cannot teach swiftness to the turtles.

In your longing for your giant self lies your goodness: and that longing is in all of you.

But in some of you that longing is a torrent rushing with might to the sea, carrying the secrets of the hillsides and the songs of the forest.

And in others it is a flat stream that loses itself in angles and bends and lingers before it reaches the shore.

But let not him who longs much say to him who longs little, "Wherefore are you slow and halting?"

For the truly good ask not the naked, "Where is your garment?" nor the houseless, "What has befallen your house?"

Khalil Gibran 

The Only Bondage

You did escape the trap
of elemental hive

But its your own doing
that is the ultimate trap

Till you go beyond your own crap
there is no way to break this trap

-Sadhguru

Weather! whether?

“Whether the weather be fine, Whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, Whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather, Whatever the whether, Whether we like it or not”

Crumbled Dry Leaves

she holds her book
Sits under the tree
she feels the beauty
the world is amazing
no reason for a tear


she reads the words
her eyes now close
there is darkness
she is in the past
it was so beautiful

shaken back to now
all is peace & love
takes a deep breath
and life feels vast
for it rapidly moves

joy cost her nothing
pain has no meaning
we create our lives
crumbled dry leaves
she blows them away

The Game of Life & Losing

Its pain and fear forever to a human as the entire moments are lived. The perpetual anxiety of losing what we have: material assets, people we love, positions we hold, power wielded. No no no, don't take it away.....

"Awareness is the key" : is what any of the spiritual guru would say. Is there any loss when there was nothing that is mine : not any at all. We don't exist forever, nothing else does, its all a game. A game of life.

What we see is provided to us to play the game. We dont own them though we perceive it so. When we attach our identity to these objects, losing them is misery and suffering. We are in constant search of newer objects to attach to.

Take this analogy, while you play a video game or a sport we get tools and objects to play the game it doesn't belong to us. We enjoy playing the game and losing means playing again. Same goes with life, this life time if we don't get the game we play it again till we realise the game of life and then the game ends.

So right now: "Life is beautiful and play the game" :)

[Though these are my words, I wrote it in my diary when it came in as a surge of thoughts from an unknown source. I am just the medium not the source of this]

Light my life

Is it true that you are with me

it'll take a lifetime to sink in

Can you explain, who are you

and why are you here so close

I can feel it and see it too

its so warm and cozy with you

living and dying everyday

a dream so lovely & beautiful

Dont I see it, you are here

carrying a flame in the heart

to burn and light my life

vanquishing all pain & sorrow

no anxiety about the future

its this very moment I live

there is no parting of ways

the flame burns for ever

WT'X' is love?

Murali (a friend best avoided but hard to ignore) says I am totally outta my mind and jobless..oh yeah, my reasoning: one needs to keep busy and the blog active...so here I am with the insights from my survey on a small sampling of people on 'What the "whatever" is Love'

This survey doesn't give any reports or end results, it should actually not be called one. Its just a collation of well thought ideas:

Amrita: well how to define love...when it's the most simple & pure at one side...on the other its not easy to define love...cause you can only feel it...words are not enough to express that feeling...only the heart loves the heart knows what actually it is.

You are in love when you would rather not live life without the other person, when he or she is the first that springs to mind in happiness or grief; when the other person is a constant companion even in absentia and when sometimes your loved one's happiness takes precedence over yours.

Jassi: I dont

Jassi (after few hours): a friend of mine once said that, love is the purest form of emotional happiness

Arul: it is everything for holding on to letting go to giving space and taking space for one's self

Anonymous : which was there for ever ...is there around & will remain for ever

Tim: there is only one relationship

and that relationship is only with u and only u

and if u can have a great relationship with u

then u get many lovers, be loved, be appreciated etc etc

Me: Love is the essence of life

Suresh Nair: True love is a feeling that there is NO difference between you and the person who you are loving. Like one soul and one body. But everybody in this world is unique. That is why it is difficult to find love in earth. But don't give up. Keep on looking everwhere. You may find that one day.

Manish Chakravarty: Love is the comfort of being with someone.

T Chendil Kumar: love is a feeling that activates all the senses, except the common sense !

Srini Jaltaru: love is little more than liking each other....no matter what is the custom/religion/country, romantic love plays an important role, while cultural differences in how that love appears vary....the fact is that "romantic love exists" is undoubtful.

Getting the good routine back

Post surgery, from the past 8 months I have just not exercised, ignored my food habits, stopped yoga & meditation and instead I have taken on to all that could worsen my healh both physically and mentally.

I am really missing not playing the regular badminton with the girls, the daily morning and evening yoga and of course meditation. I need gumption to get back to my routine. Right now I have disciplined myself to be more organized to achieve this.

So today I was able to spend time with Nidhi on her studies, the one hour teaching I was following earlier. I am raring to feel the energy in doing whats good for me and the control over my time.

In another hour will be my evening Yoga, yippee...I am almost there :)

Wish me good luck fellas!

The Truth sets you Free

Havent we heard of this so many times: "The Truth will set you free" and it has always been my only guiding path. I was so upbeat and gratified all these days. Without a reason and with no explanation I received immeasurable joy....though somewhere I lost my prudence.

We love lying to ourselves ignoring those signals so clear and loud and continue to believe life the way we want it to be.

The Truth however shocking and cruel, uplifts us and clears all the baggage we carry to unburden the soul.

Filling me with so much of peace & a calmness after the storm :). A reason to clear the canvas and put in new colors!

Convenient Love

You say you love & I too do

do we really mean those words

Is it just let we feel good

do we ever feel from the heart

do we give any damn for that

for its just a convenient love

I sometimes want to walk away

there is a freedom from pain

I can see my heart needs more

And it could be gone in a day

but I dont want to hurt again

for its just a convenient love

I think hard and let it be

let the moments be as it is

why worry and fret for me

tho the outcome is so unsure

but why run from being hurt

bcos its love and beyond me

The flight

Writhing in extreme pain

a broken wing and bleeding

the bird battled in vain

getting closer I lifted it

it was an unbearable sight

I was weeping at its plight

cleaning its wounds gently

nursing it back to good health

giving away life and blood

to see its heart flutter back

kissing, loving and touching

it smiled back and frolicked

we played in the sunshine

the darkness and the moon

a fine day it was ready to fly

flew far away to a distant land

as I looked up the sky tearfully

watching the bird's awaited flight

Fear of Losing you

I wish I was a tear in your eyes, then I would run down your cheeks and dry on your lips then again, I wish you were a tear in my eyes, then I would never cry, out of fear of losing you.

A quote for Independence Day

A person who lives in another country detesting one's own is like choosing a rich neighbor aunt to one's own loving but poor mother...

Krishna nee begane baro

krishna nee bEganE baarO
bEganE baarO mukavannu tOrO
krishna nee bEganE baarO

kaalaalandhigE gejje niladhabaavuli
nilavarNane naaTya maaduta baarO
krishna nee bEganE baarO

Odiyalli odigejje beraLalli ongura
koraLalli haakita vajayantimaalE
krishna nee bEganE baarO

Listen to it

kaasi peeTambara kaiyalli koLalu
pushita shreegandha mayallOLagamma
krishna nee bEganE baarO

taayige baayalli jagavannu torita
jagadhOdhaaraka namma uDupi shree krishna
krishna nee bEganE baarO

Life is happening :)

Sudden surge of projects in our company, lots of work but isn’t this what I wanted. Meetings, documents, calls, coordination, cash, cheques, resources, interviews ...the list is endless :) drove me near to madness last week but a 4 day break saved me :)

Family time is so de-stressing and makes all this worth it. There is so much magic and beauty of love in marriage. The love thats growing as the years pass by and a little one to further expand the happiness...!!

"A beautiful relationship does not depend upon how good we understand someone but on how well we avoid misunderstandings."

Spent lots of time cooking, long drives, activities with my daughter, cousins for lunch, attending satsang, just a nice cozy evening...leaving me relaxed and in peace, the boost my brain needed. Now when I am in midst of work with a big list to follow, I am working on it but not worried!

And how can I ignore the lovely events occurring in life. Connecting with new friends, strengthening the current ones and reconnecting with the long lost ones...& a happy soul I am with so much to cheer and smile about :)

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer -- it sings because it has a song."

Finally get to write some text on this blog; post awakening of my brain ....I can now write those long overdue words for a dear friend :)...wait up friend: its coming by :)

Living in the past

I seek my past in the present so as much that I dont know the present exists. It ceases to be there in my timeline. I would do anything to get that broken heart healed or that friend come back to me but what about this lovely picture being painted right in front of me, it doesnt matter I am not part of this. I am the missing piece in anything beautiful.

I brood and cry over whats gone by, I run through each event I spent with you because thats all I have, memories. My life is so desolate without you.

If I have a past and no present, I have absolutely no future. Who cares about the present and the future, I am in love with my past.

Dont shake me, dont wake me, let me go backwards in time and sleep in the coziness of my melancholy to never return again.

Early Education System in India

Early education in India especially in the middle class is about competitiveness, scoring and ranking higher. Every city has its varying degrees of aggressiveness. If one belongs to a city where the education culture is so built around tuitions, prep classes, guides, student groups and school's additional enforcements a student can easily score an admirable percentage in the 10th class.

The fallback of such a system is lack of good development of the child in other aspects of his/her personality. Such children later grow up to become adults who probably are failures in their interpersonal skills, relationships and don’t accept shortcomings easily.

With this said about the tough expectations a student may have to deal with does the scrapping of the 10th class exams help? Not really! Examinations are required to focus a child's faculties towards understanding the subject and giving timelines to see early education to a completion. It’s just the attitude of the parents and teachers that need to be worked upon to bring about seeing examination as a healthy system, rather than having a whole system of guide books, early morning & late evening tuitions to excel.

Nagendra haraya Trilochanaya

Listen to it here:

Nagendra haraya Trilochanaya,
Basmanga ragaya maheswaraya,
Nithyaya shudhaya digambaraya,
Tasmai nakaraya namashivaya. 1

My salutations to the letter 'Na' , which is Shiva,
Who wears as garland the king of snakes.
Who has three eyes,
Who wears ash all over Him,
Who is the greatest Lord,
Who is forever,
Who is the cleanest,
And who wears the directions themselves as dress.

Mandakini salila chandana charchithaya,
Nandeeswara pramadha nadha maheswaraya,
Mandara pushpa bahu pushpa supoojithaya,
Tasmai makaraya namashivaya. 2

My salutations to the letter 'Ma' , which is Shiva,
Who is bathed by waters of Ganga,
Who applies sandalpaste all over him,
Who has Lord Nandi as his chieftain,
Who is the greatest lord,
And who is worshipped by Mandhara and many other flowers.

Shivaaya gowri vadanara vinda,
Sooryaya daksha dwara naasakaya,
Sri neela kantaya vrisha dwajaya,
Tasmai sikaraya namashivaya. 3

My salutations to the letter 'Si' , which is Shiva,
Who is peace personified,
Who is like Sun to the Lotus face of Gowri,
Who destroyed the fire sacrifice of Daksha,
Who has a blue neck,
And who has a bull in his flag.

Vasishta kumbhodhbhava gowthamadhi.
Munendra devarchitha shekaraya,
Chandrarka vaiswanara lochanaya,
Tasmai vakaraya namashivaya 4

My salutations to the letter 'Va' , which is Shiva,
Who is worshipped by great sages like
Vasishta, Agasthya and Gowthama,
As also the devas,
And who has sun, moon and fire as his three eyes.

Yaksha swaroopaya jada dharaya,
Pinaka hasthathaya sanathanaya,
Divyaya devaaya digambaraya,
Tasmai yakaraya namashivaya. 5

My salutations to the letter 'Ya' , which is Shiva,
Who takes the form of Yaksha,
Who has a tufted hair,
Who is armed with spear,
Who is forever filled with peace,
Who is godly,
Who is the great God,
And who wears the directions themselves as dress.

Phalasruthi

Panchaksharamidham punyam,
Ya padeth Shiva sannidhou,
Shivaloka mavapnothi,
Shive na saha modathe .

Those who read these holy five letters great,
In the temple of Shiva,.
Would go to the world of Shiva,
And be forever happy with Him.

Translated by P R Ramachander.

Vacationing!!!???

A week back, this vacation I am in,  felt like a very bad timing. AQMI employed 7 new marketing executives and we already had 3 employees. Training of the marketing executives started immediately to induct them into the system and the thought process. Nights when I went to bed it was tiring but I was learning in leaps and bounds. Whatever side of the organization one is, employee or employer, the experience gained is tremendous.

Orane Solutions, our IT company was also gaining some head way. So far we were moving but in small and slow steps. Out of the blue a good deal was on its way. I inititated the activity by meeting the client but the subsquent meetings would be attended by my other 2 partners. Then again, I was reminded this was not a good time to vacation.

Monday, when I was supposed to travel to Gurgaon for my 20 day vacation, the marketing executives had to step out and walk into the client spaces. All set and ready, extremely enthusiastic and excited. I wanted to be part of all this but then I had to go, so here I am. Yesterday evening I heard some good news, the marketing visits were in the positive direction. There were no sales but there was good movement and follow ups needed, which meant lots of hope.

Today, Nagesh and Prasad (my partners in Orane) are working towards meeting the client and also working on the presentation.

So actually I can cool my heels and relax a bit now. This is a well deserved vacation.......:)

And as a true business woman, I wouldnt let this travel expense go a waste. Meeting my cousin who will be heading the north india marketing office of AQMI to train him about the services so that he can market it the right away. Further, taking him along for business discussions as Im looking at office space in Delhi and also seeking business associations.

But what else is the proof that I have time for myself,  I got time to add this post on my blog :)

Coffee and Smokes: Meeting a Senior Manager (#2)

[If you haven’t, please read the earlier series on Jyo before you proceed:

Coffee and Smokes: Intro to Jyo (#1)]

Some of Jyo's amusing encounters ensued at this quiet coffee shop. One balmy afternoon, Jyo is engrossed in figuring out the right abuse she should return to her colleague who never spares any opportunity to denunciate her. It could be her dress/makeup, work, boy friend ...oh anything. That meant Jyo needed to be braced in all fronts. Deep in her thoughts and drag after drag she is oblivious of the man right in front of her. There is a tall, stout, puffed up face, fair-skinned man in a black suit asking her for a light. She passes the light without actually looking at him but he is lingering over seeking her attention.

She looks up to meet his piercing gaze. He doesn’t idle in elucidation and blurts "Can I join you?” She says "Of course" and the huge man is seated facing her like a teenager on his first date. She concludes he is about 35 years. His balding patch in the centre of his head and his face does show that he is a stressed and burdened manager in some company. He introduces himself as "Ram" working as a senior manager in a finance company. He queries about her work and her role at her workplace. She slowly talks about herself. Before she could enquire his details, he pulls out his visiting card and remarks "You wouldn’t have thought I am such a senior manager in a company, people say I look very young for my age and I look like a college student" She smiles and nods to show agreement though in her mind she knows she has guessed his age just right :) He then goes on about his personal life. He is married with kids and mentions about his long marriage to his wife. He further states that it is an intercultural marriage. She could see it in his eyes that he is all bonkers over her. She doesn’t like him at all.

He asks for her mobile number which she is really reluctant to give away. For a moment, she is in contention and tempted to give the wrong number. To end this encounter smoothly, she quickly decides to share her mobile number. He is urgently typing the number on his mobile and presses the call button. He is very pleased to see her mobile ring. He saves the number and well Jyo does it too because she always saves numbers of people she likes and dislikes. If the people who were a bother called her she could disconnect or ignore it :) After a few minutes of chat she departs with an excuse that work is waiting and proceeds to her workplace. As she is walking back, she sees a message from Ram: “Jyo, It was great meeting you, please keep in Touch. Love Ram”. "Hey Ram" she thinks “What a prick??!!”

To be named poem

खलकियत नवाज़िश शफकत को भुलादीया
ना गवारी ने उसको नस्ल परस बनादीया
राह तक गयें हम मोहब्बत के पैगाम का
आबो दानाह गुज़र गयी आपके तनफ्फुर का


[to be completed]

Amused?

I liked these quotes, picked up from Readers Digest:


Sympathy: What one girl offers in exchange for details -Aubrey B


If you have integrity, nothing else matters
If you dont have integrity, nothing else matters
-Alan Simpson, Former US Senator

Silent cry

When the vocal fights are futile
There commences the long silent wars
Reticent as the night but raging as the sun
my heart burns, my mind churns the events
Where is the love, what is beauty
who would care for life and death
in arrogance and the need for control

Fretting and fuming, driving me nuts
Suicide or murder sounds like good
but a bright smile of a child
can spoil such wonderful plans
We all are limited, we all are bound
no freedom, and darkness it should be
there aint choices, its the "gifted" path

I recall years ago I picked it up
a beautiful package with a green gem
so dazzling was it that it blinded me
I easily missed the big black stones
The green gem doesnt shine anymore
hands dirty, no escape from fate
and hey, who are you in the mirror?