Convenient Love

You say you love & I too do

do we really mean those words

Is it just let we feel good

do we ever feel from the heart

do we give any damn for that

for its just a convenient love

I sometimes want to walk away

there is a freedom from pain

I can see my heart needs more

And it could be gone in a day

but I dont want to hurt again

for its just a convenient love

I think hard and let it be

let the moments be as it is

why worry and fret for me

tho the outcome is so unsure

but why run from being hurt

bcos its love and beyond me

The flight

Writhing in extreme pain

a broken wing and bleeding

the bird battled in vain

getting closer I lifted it

it was an unbearable sight

I was weeping at its plight

cleaning its wounds gently

nursing it back to good health

giving away life and blood

to see its heart flutter back

kissing, loving and touching

it smiled back and frolicked

we played in the sunshine

the darkness and the moon

a fine day it was ready to fly

flew far away to a distant land

as I looked up the sky tearfully

watching the bird's awaited flight

Fear of Losing you

I wish I was a tear in your eyes, then I would run down your cheeks and dry on your lips then again, I wish you were a tear in my eyes, then I would never cry, out of fear of losing you.

A quote for Independence Day

A person who lives in another country detesting one's own is like choosing a rich neighbor aunt to one's own loving but poor mother...

Krishna nee begane baro

krishna nee bEganE baarO
bEganE baarO mukavannu tOrO
krishna nee bEganE baarO

kaalaalandhigE gejje niladhabaavuli
nilavarNane naaTya maaduta baarO
krishna nee bEganE baarO

Odiyalli odigejje beraLalli ongura
koraLalli haakita vajayantimaalE
krishna nee bEganE baarO

Listen to it

kaasi peeTambara kaiyalli koLalu
pushita shreegandha mayallOLagamma
krishna nee bEganE baarO

taayige baayalli jagavannu torita
jagadhOdhaaraka namma uDupi shree krishna
krishna nee bEganE baarO

Life is happening :)

Sudden surge of projects in our company, lots of work but isn’t this what I wanted. Meetings, documents, calls, coordination, cash, cheques, resources, interviews ...the list is endless :) drove me near to madness last week but a 4 day break saved me :)

Family time is so de-stressing and makes all this worth it. There is so much magic and beauty of love in marriage. The love thats growing as the years pass by and a little one to further expand the happiness...!!

"A beautiful relationship does not depend upon how good we understand someone but on how well we avoid misunderstandings."

Spent lots of time cooking, long drives, activities with my daughter, cousins for lunch, attending satsang, just a nice cozy evening...leaving me relaxed and in peace, the boost my brain needed. Now when I am in midst of work with a big list to follow, I am working on it but not worried!

And how can I ignore the lovely events occurring in life. Connecting with new friends, strengthening the current ones and reconnecting with the long lost ones...& a happy soul I am with so much to cheer and smile about :)

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer -- it sings because it has a song."

Finally get to write some text on this blog; post awakening of my brain ....I can now write those long overdue words for a dear friend :)...wait up friend: its coming by :)

Living in the past

I seek my past in the present so as much that I dont know the present exists. It ceases to be there in my timeline. I would do anything to get that broken heart healed or that friend come back to me but what about this lovely picture being painted right in front of me, it doesnt matter I am not part of this. I am the missing piece in anything beautiful.

I brood and cry over whats gone by, I run through each event I spent with you because thats all I have, memories. My life is so desolate without you.

If I have a past and no present, I have absolutely no future. Who cares about the present and the future, I am in love with my past.

Dont shake me, dont wake me, let me go backwards in time and sleep in the coziness of my melancholy to never return again.

Early Education System in India

Early education in India especially in the middle class is about competitiveness, scoring and ranking higher. Every city has its varying degrees of aggressiveness. If one belongs to a city where the education culture is so built around tuitions, prep classes, guides, student groups and school's additional enforcements a student can easily score an admirable percentage in the 10th class.

The fallback of such a system is lack of good development of the child in other aspects of his/her personality. Such children later grow up to become adults who probably are failures in their interpersonal skills, relationships and don’t accept shortcomings easily.

With this said about the tough expectations a student may have to deal with does the scrapping of the 10th class exams help? Not really! Examinations are required to focus a child's faculties towards understanding the subject and giving timelines to see early education to a completion. It’s just the attitude of the parents and teachers that need to be worked upon to bring about seeing examination as a healthy system, rather than having a whole system of guide books, early morning & late evening tuitions to excel.

Nagendra haraya Trilochanaya

Listen to it here:

Nagendra haraya Trilochanaya,
Basmanga ragaya maheswaraya,
Nithyaya shudhaya digambaraya,
Tasmai nakaraya namashivaya. 1

My salutations to the letter 'Na' , which is Shiva,
Who wears as garland the king of snakes.
Who has three eyes,
Who wears ash all over Him,
Who is the greatest Lord,
Who is forever,
Who is the cleanest,
And who wears the directions themselves as dress.

Mandakini salila chandana charchithaya,
Nandeeswara pramadha nadha maheswaraya,
Mandara pushpa bahu pushpa supoojithaya,
Tasmai makaraya namashivaya. 2

My salutations to the letter 'Ma' , which is Shiva,
Who is bathed by waters of Ganga,
Who applies sandalpaste all over him,
Who has Lord Nandi as his chieftain,
Who is the greatest lord,
And who is worshipped by Mandhara and many other flowers.

Shivaaya gowri vadanara vinda,
Sooryaya daksha dwara naasakaya,
Sri neela kantaya vrisha dwajaya,
Tasmai sikaraya namashivaya. 3

My salutations to the letter 'Si' , which is Shiva,
Who is peace personified,
Who is like Sun to the Lotus face of Gowri,
Who destroyed the fire sacrifice of Daksha,
Who has a blue neck,
And who has a bull in his flag.

Vasishta kumbhodhbhava gowthamadhi.
Munendra devarchitha shekaraya,
Chandrarka vaiswanara lochanaya,
Tasmai vakaraya namashivaya 4

My salutations to the letter 'Va' , which is Shiva,
Who is worshipped by great sages like
Vasishta, Agasthya and Gowthama,
As also the devas,
And who has sun, moon and fire as his three eyes.

Yaksha swaroopaya jada dharaya,
Pinaka hasthathaya sanathanaya,
Divyaya devaaya digambaraya,
Tasmai yakaraya namashivaya. 5

My salutations to the letter 'Ya' , which is Shiva,
Who takes the form of Yaksha,
Who has a tufted hair,
Who is armed with spear,
Who is forever filled with peace,
Who is godly,
Who is the great God,
And who wears the directions themselves as dress.

Phalasruthi

Panchaksharamidham punyam,
Ya padeth Shiva sannidhou,
Shivaloka mavapnothi,
Shive na saha modathe .

Those who read these holy five letters great,
In the temple of Shiva,.
Would go to the world of Shiva,
And be forever happy with Him.

Translated by P R Ramachander.

Vacationing!!!???

A week back, this vacation I am in,  felt like a very bad timing. AQMI employed 7 new marketing executives and we already had 3 employees. Training of the marketing executives started immediately to induct them into the system and the thought process. Nights when I went to bed it was tiring but I was learning in leaps and bounds. Whatever side of the organization one is, employee or employer, the experience gained is tremendous.

Orane Solutions, our IT company was also gaining some head way. So far we were moving but in small and slow steps. Out of the blue a good deal was on its way. I inititated the activity by meeting the client but the subsquent meetings would be attended by my other 2 partners. Then again, I was reminded this was not a good time to vacation.

Monday, when I was supposed to travel to Gurgaon for my 20 day vacation, the marketing executives had to step out and walk into the client spaces. All set and ready, extremely enthusiastic and excited. I wanted to be part of all this but then I had to go, so here I am. Yesterday evening I heard some good news, the marketing visits were in the positive direction. There were no sales but there was good movement and follow ups needed, which meant lots of hope.

Today, Nagesh and Prasad (my partners in Orane) are working towards meeting the client and also working on the presentation.

So actually I can cool my heels and relax a bit now. This is a well deserved vacation.......:)

And as a true business woman, I wouldnt let this travel expense go a waste. Meeting my cousin who will be heading the north india marketing office of AQMI to train him about the services so that he can market it the right away. Further, taking him along for business discussions as Im looking at office space in Delhi and also seeking business associations.

But what else is the proof that I have time for myself,  I got time to add this post on my blog :)

Coffee and Smokes: Meeting a Senior Manager (#2)

[If you haven’t, please read the earlier series on Jyo before you proceed:

Coffee and Smokes: Intro to Jyo (#1)]

Some of Jyo's amusing encounters ensued at this quiet coffee shop. One balmy afternoon, Jyo is engrossed in figuring out the right abuse she should return to her colleague who never spares any opportunity to denunciate her. It could be her dress/makeup, work, boy friend ...oh anything. That meant Jyo needed to be braced in all fronts. Deep in her thoughts and drag after drag she is oblivious of the man right in front of her. There is a tall, stout, puffed up face, fair-skinned man in a black suit asking her for a light. She passes the light without actually looking at him but he is lingering over seeking her attention.

She looks up to meet his piercing gaze. He doesn’t idle in elucidation and blurts "Can I join you?” She says "Of course" and the huge man is seated facing her like a teenager on his first date. She concludes he is about 35 years. His balding patch in the centre of his head and his face does show that he is a stressed and burdened manager in some company. He introduces himself as "Ram" working as a senior manager in a finance company. He queries about her work and her role at her workplace. She slowly talks about herself. Before she could enquire his details, he pulls out his visiting card and remarks "You wouldn’t have thought I am such a senior manager in a company, people say I look very young for my age and I look like a college student" She smiles and nods to show agreement though in her mind she knows she has guessed his age just right :) He then goes on about his personal life. He is married with kids and mentions about his long marriage to his wife. He further states that it is an intercultural marriage. She could see it in his eyes that he is all bonkers over her. She doesn’t like him at all.

He asks for her mobile number which she is really reluctant to give away. For a moment, she is in contention and tempted to give the wrong number. To end this encounter smoothly, she quickly decides to share her mobile number. He is urgently typing the number on his mobile and presses the call button. He is very pleased to see her mobile ring. He saves the number and well Jyo does it too because she always saves numbers of people she likes and dislikes. If the people who were a bother called her she could disconnect or ignore it :) After a few minutes of chat she departs with an excuse that work is waiting and proceeds to her workplace. As she is walking back, she sees a message from Ram: “Jyo, It was great meeting you, please keep in Touch. Love Ram”. "Hey Ram" she thinks “What a prick??!!”

To be named poem

खलकियत नवाज़िश शफकत को भुलादीया
ना गवारी ने उसको नस्ल परस बनादीया
राह तक गयें हम मोहब्बत के पैगाम का
आबो दानाह गुज़र गयी आपके तनफ्फुर का


[to be completed]

Amused?

I liked these quotes, picked up from Readers Digest:


Sympathy: What one girl offers in exchange for details -Aubrey B


If you have integrity, nothing else matters
If you dont have integrity, nothing else matters
-Alan Simpson, Former US Senator

Silent cry

When the vocal fights are futile
There commences the long silent wars
Reticent as the night but raging as the sun
my heart burns, my mind churns the events
Where is the love, what is beauty
who would care for life and death
in arrogance and the need for control

Fretting and fuming, driving me nuts
Suicide or murder sounds like good
but a bright smile of a child
can spoil such wonderful plans
We all are limited, we all are bound
no freedom, and darkness it should be
there aint choices, its the "gifted" path

I recall years ago I picked it up
a beautiful package with a green gem
so dazzling was it that it blinded me
I easily missed the big black stones
The green gem doesnt shine anymore
hands dirty, no escape from fate
and hey, who are you in the mirror?

Coffee and Smokes: Intro to Jyo (#1)

I am writing a fiction series based on a character "Jyo". I don't brand her as the "typical" city girl or a representation of the modern women. She is what circumstances and life has made her. I am building her character based on a few people I know and a dash of me in it too :)


Hope you all like it. I will post often, please keep writing your comments, it could be in form of questions if any queries about Jyo or any curiosity one would have on "Coffee and Smokes".


Enjoy reading :)


Intro to Jyo
------------


She headed to her habitual coffee shop at 11am. This is when she got a break at work and she would spend time with herself. She spread her paraphernalia that comprised of a book, hand bag and shades. She pulled out the smokes and lighter from the handbag and signalled to the waiter to get a coffee, her customary cappuccino. This was an indoor coffee shop unlike the outdoor ones; there was soft music playing and another lone customer smoking away. This was perfect, the fewer the people the better.


She flipped the pages of the book to get to where she had left it last. Her mind though wandered to what happened at work today morning. "Jyo, come here quick, I need to discuss the monthly reports" told her boss on the phone. Her name is Jyothilakshmi but sobriquets get shorter and "western" in the BPO industry and she liked it this way. Jyo loved her job, she was a team lead and had worked for 4 years in the same organization. With all these parameters she knew Bangalore was the place to be. She took a long drag of smoke and sipped the coffee. The warm sun broke through the glass on her chosen table and she liked it. She looked outside the window pane, she saw a couple walking. She could watch them but they couldn’t possibly see her. Her discussion with her boss was good and Indro (Indraneel) was a "gem" she thought and got back to the book she intended to read. Another smoke and she was back to work.

Gurgaon-Delhi-Greater Noida, 2008

Earlier vacations were once in a year and for 3-4 days. It would be usually a trip to my in-laws place in Delhi (they have relocated to Hyderabad). Now I travel more after letting go of a highly paid and growing career wherein I missed one thing vacations ... :)

 

Now I vacation every month and most of my trips head to where my husband is in Gurgaon and I have loved each trip. This time I planned visits to an aunts place and my sis home who just moved in to Greater Noida. Further my many visits had made me comfy to move  alone in the vicinity to shop and watch a movie too :)

 

Day 1 (Mon) at Gurgaon - Wipro guest house in sec 28. Difficult to get out of the bed in the morning and being a Bangalorean 11 to 12 deg c is freezing :). The morning gets warmer as I sip a hot cup of coffee, and browse the TV and newspaper. Nidhi sleeps through it while Sridhar is getting ready to head to work. He is off by 8:30 am. Nidhi and I are at the breakfast table at 9:30 am.

 

After enjoying the breakfast we shower and are out on the road, the sun is so warm and loving. I walk down to a nearby shopping mall; it takes 15-20 minutes. I buy medicines for Nidhi as she has caught a cold. Also wandering and window shopping, I decide to then stop at a book store, head to the children’s section and buy an activity book for Nidhi. We take a rickshaw back home...and enjoyed the ride. Though on the fast track Gurgaon roads with speeding cars, one is precariously holding on to life on a rickshaw but there are the thrills. With no auto in sight and no public transport, this is an easy option.

 

Today night was even more exciting, it’s our marriage anniversary. We complete 9 years of marriage and we are feeling younger by the yearJ. My Father-in-law comes over from Ghaziabad to bless the couple :) and that’s such a nice gesture.

 

Day 2 (Tue) at Gurgaon - Wipro guest house in sec 28. It’s the same cold mornings and the much awaited 9:30am breakfast. At 10:20 am we are out. This time I plan a movie for Nidhi and me. We do a lot of that in Bangalore and enjoy watching movies together. A rickshaw to a nearby mall that has the PVR cinemas. I buy a ticket for Dostana because that’s the one available at 10:45 am, the rest are after 1pm....

 

Dostana is hilarious, and the gay humour was timed so well. The 2nd half had emotional bits but the humour in between kept it going strong :)

I had lunch at Halidrams and we were home in the Rickshaw and Nidhi was pretty used to it by then that she slept in it :)

Late evening we spent time at home, I watched "Welcome to Sajjanpur", since I am from UP I can relate to the language. I liked the good story, dialogues, humour and the emotions aptly put in. Shreyas Talpade did an excellent job.

 

Day 3 (Wed) at Gurgaon - Wipro guest house in sec 28. I was beginning to feel a sore throat and had a running nose. I decided another trip to a shopping mall for shopping or movies can be avoided. Took good rest at the guesthouse, enjoyed the lunch and slept well. Night we were off to Sarita Vihar in Delhi to meet Khatri Uncle, Aunty and their daughter Pallavi. We reached at 10:30 pm in the night and were served chaats which we enjoyed, though they felt that it would taste better if it was hotter and if we had come earlier. They had got it from their regular chaat place. After a long chinwag, we went to sleep unaware of the happenings in Mumbai. Sridhar was back to sec 28 and waiting to be shifted to the new guest house 15kms away at Sonah road.

 

Day 4 (Thu) at Delhi - Khatris. Roused up to the news at Mumbai and we were glued to the TV and ranting our opinions. Uncle and Pallavi had to leave for work at 8:30 am so we had adrak chai and gobi parathas at 8:00 am. Nidhi woke up late and ate cornflakes in hot milk as the dentist had advised soft food.

 

We got off at 11:30 am to Lajpatngar market for shopping. Aunty suggested we can go in the bus and come back in the Auto. I haven’t been in the local bus for like 15 years and this was really exciting. Nidhi and I enjoyed the ride. We bought a sweater (to be gifted to my maid in Bangalore), small pink woollen gloves, black boots and a toy for Nidhi. I bought some books and nighties for myself (I am a big nighty fan ;-)). We were tired and ready for lunch, had dosas in a restaurant there and hopped in an auto back to Sarita Vihar.

 

Uncle and Pallavi were back at home nearing 7pm with hot-hot aloo tikkis and this time they really were so much yummmmmm. Evening we had garam rotis, gobi sabzi and moong dal......enjoyed the meal and was supposed to be picked up by Sridhar but he got really delayed at work and asked me if I can take a drop from someone for the next day morning. I spoke to Uncle and he spoke to a neighbour who drives to work to Gurgaon every morning. We had to sleep early as we had to leave at 7am the next day.

 

Day 5(Fri) at Gurgaon - Sonah Road

Morning I had my adrak chai while watching Mumbai on TV. My bags were packed and Nidhi carried to the living room and still asleep. At 7am she woke up. We were waiting for the gentleman to pick us up. He was Pallavi's schoolmate. He came about 7:20 am. We sat in his car behind with my entire luggage. I left the front seat empty for his colleague whom he would pick up on the way. Sridhar was waiting at the planned drop off point. We got off there and waited for our taxi to take us to the new guesthouse on Sonah Road.

 

The new guesthouse on Sonah Road was pretty far from where we stayed earlier. The flats and its landscaping is beautiful. It is a huge housing complex and has up-to-date facilities. Since the shifting just happened the rooms were very dirty. We had our breakfast and got ready to go down to enjoy the lawns and the beauty of the place. Nidhi played in the children’s section for a long time and we walked a lot exploring the place. We got back to have lunch and sleep well....

 

In the night we headed to Greater Noida to meet my Sis. We reached late at 10:30pm and had great dinner cooked by my sis. We had Rajma, aloo capsicum, peas curry, dal and rice...yum yum....sumptuous meal my younger Sis suddenly feels so much bigger than I perceived :)

We chat late night and sleep off. Nidhi as usual prefers getting friendlier with the girl of the house as his her tradition :)

 

Day 6 (Sat) at Greater Noida

After a good night's sleep in the warm quilt, I woke up to a bright morning at 8:30 am and to a hot cup of coffee. We were in the grass down by 11:30 am. I was basking in the sun while Sridhar and Nidhi were in the children's play area. We left around 1:30pm for a mall “India Palace”. Nidhi immediately found a children’s play area within the mall. We reached at 2:30 pm and were really tired and hungry, had lots of food and came back in the evening tired of eating with bloated stomachs. We chilled and relaxed at Priya's place in the night. Next morning we are at Sonah road.

 

Day 7 (Sun)

We caught a quick grub in the Omaxe mall near the Wipro guesthouse and then it was time to head to airport for my flight. The flight was delayed by an hour. Nidhi and I reached Bangalore at 9:45pm. Mom was waiting at the airport with the driver Prasanna. Gr8 vacation but nothing like being back to Bangalore......love the weather and people here.....mwaaaaaaah...love ya Bangalore :)

 

Games People Play

She says she hates me
He wants to say goodbye
and the kids look away
thats the stories I hear
all times from all so many

Cant people learn to love
from the heart
make life simple
and less complicated
whats the f***ing stress about
use ur brain boy

tonite I am gonna dream
abt a world thats
gone crazier
more fun..and more games
I can play
I actually love it this way

Addictive game - bloxorz

My friend Jagadeesh introduced me to bloxorz and it gets on you, a very addictive game. Its requires good IQ to play it so not anyone who is reading this can succeed..hehee...and the one who is writing this too ;-)
I have only completed 12 levels.....many levels to take on

If you keen on playing it just google for "bloxorz"....my best wishes with u!!

Path

Each on of us has their chosen path. We meet people who are pretty close to our paths. Some so close like our parents, siblings and the closest anyone can get is the spouse. We are as close as being ONE but we still have our tracks to pursue.

And we got our purpose, what ticks for one doesnt necessarily for another but yet some of us like to imitate another killing what the creator has wanted us to do.

Just be....

Simplicity in life

Its wise to shift gears from the complex to simple in life. As a human one needs both, the challenges and the peace. Now as I relax and watch the rains pour down on Bangalore city, I enjoy being able to watch it from the window. Life and its simplicity allows us to actually look at it in deliberation. Also to sit back and appreciate the time gone by. Reminisce tranquillity in the coziness of my home.